I have been on the GO since school started and it started to feel quite suffocating. Finally reached a point where I started to get sick from stress. Juggling a million balls and was just waiting for ONE to come crashing down, and I was certain a domino effect would ensue. So- while I was somewhat sane still, I delegated a few things off my plate. That helped me feel better-for about a week, because instead of the list growing shorter, it started multiplying! Gah! You know the moment where you just want to crawl into the fetal position, have a good cry and make the world GO AWAY? No? Well-that's where I was at. I've been in to volunteer about 3 times total in my kids classrooms since September (3 times in each classroom-so I guess that is 6) and I feel like someone should slap me with "horrid mother" scarlet letter for that. In my defense, my schedule has been NUTS for the past 2 months! Let the rant begin. Check it out:
T-W-TH: Preschool AM
M & F: Sub at the Elementary school or Middle School.
Sometimes I even sub M-F all day at the schools and let my assistant teacher take over the 3 days of preschool in my absence. That carries the added bonus of me having to write detailed sub plans & make sure everything is OOBER organized & set out just so. YUCKOLA! (Oh and can I add, that paychecks are almost 2 months backed up-so I worked all of Sept & Oct and got paid about $400 on Nov. 1st. GRRRRRR-I love having a Masters Degree and getting paid $13 an hour!)
While this is all going on, I also spent 4 days (after teaching preschool all morning) taking photographs at a daycare/preschool center here in town. That's 50 munchkins & 12 staff x 5 shots (or more) each, edited, printed, compiled into a portfolio & burned on CDs. Editing alone takes weeks! It felt like my retinas were BURNING due to my eyes being glued to the stupid computer screen.
Of course with it being fall-the foliage is beautiful outside, which reminds everyone that they want family pictures for Christmas. So my weekends have also been packed with about 4 family photo shoots between Saturdays & Sundays for the past 3 weeks. Each one lasting an hour and then leaving me with 50 or so images to edit from each session. SOMEHOW I was also dumb enough to agree to make another batch of the ruler growth charts for people who wanted them as baby shower gifts, teacher gifts and christmas gifts! So back to the basement until 1 am some nights trying to pull 26 of those together. Oh-and just to add a cherry on top-Mike and I each had soccer teams that we were coaching on Thursdays & Saturdays. That's 2 teams. Since I can't do ANYTHING "regular" I spent hours agonizing over how to teach simple soccer concepts to Kinder & 1st graders so that it would be fun & educational. NEVER. AGAIN! Completely draining.
The worst part is that ALL OF THIS was happening simultaneously. With my type A personality, I had a hard time not doing everything to perfection and so I pushed myself to my limit. It finally hit me while I was teaching Middle School Science the other day and almost passed out. Luckily Mike was acting Principal that day and was able to rush down and take my class so I could go to the bathroom for a breather! It has been PURE CRAZINESS.
I totally felt like I let the kids down for halloween. The list of "did not's" seemed endless.
1.We didn't have a "Jack the Pumpkin King" celebration dinner on Oct 1 like I promised. I had all the stuff for it, but no energy or desire to pull it off.
2. I couldn't pull it together to make the kids Purple and Yellow minion costumes like they hoped for, so I talked Emma into the Evil Queen *which she actually LOOOOOOVED, and God blessed me with the Stitch find at Goodwill! Whew. Still-mother guilt.
3. I almost cancelled our annual Halloween Harvest Party that we've been planning since last year, because I started to become recluse. I told my friend that I didn't want anyone over. I didn't feel like entertaining. She was shocked. Then I told my sister that I was on the verge of a meltdown and she came to my rescue-showed up, helped me decorate & pull off the entire shin dig.
4. The day before our family Halloween party I had our last soccer practice of the season-which was a crazy party practice/halloween themed event. Soccer in the dark. Fun but exhausting. Once again luckily my little sis came to my rescue and filled in with the energy I was drained of. She was out there on that soccer field running with the kids, throwing candy & having a great time being an Auntie. Did my heart good.
Tonight I FINALLY finished editing & packaging all the daycare pictures and only have 5 more family shoots to edit (before I have more to take on Sunday). The load that is off my shoulders feels AMAZING! I was finally able to sit down and design OUR christmas cards instead of someone else's. Costco is now printing premium cardstock diecut cards (at Costco prices-hallelujah!) and I am THRILLED! I saw a sample at the store last night and almost squealed out loud. So needless to say, I spent 20 mins tonight, designing, uploading and ordering our cards. The best part? Thanksgiving is WEEKS away and I've already finished 3/4 christmas shopping & now our cards are on their way too. Whew. I finally feel like myself again. That is SUCH a good feeling.
Note to self-sometimes you've just gotta SLOW DOWN!
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